Summary of seven habits book

The book begins with the frustration of the writer that was successful in his work but had failed to keep the married life warm and intact. His work had distanced him from fulfilling the emotional needs that the family required.

At one point in his life, his work requested him to handle a project in IBM that requires him to do research about humans' values. The extensive research had made him aware of the approach he had been adopting to change people around him, manupulating them to do what he wanted, was wrong.

He realized that when people were manipulated then the result would be temporary, because they would not believe the values he shared with them. Instead he began to value people they way they were, and let them thrive according to their talents.

To change people to do better, we have to understand their point of view. The different ways of seeing the world can create conflicts. But the ability to communicate the way the other person will understand is the key of successful of communication.

The way we see the world is called our PARADIGM.
Sometimes it is not about right or wrong, but because we see from different point of views that we have disagreement.

The concept of paradigm shift is very intresting... This concept is going to explains the meaning of "stand in someone else's shoes".
When you know other people situation, this will change your feeling...
There are 3 examples that really interest me...
1. The combination of picture of an old and young women.

2. The story of a husband that lost the wife and cannot control his children at the park when they were running wildly and out of control.
3. The story of a lighthouse. When the captain of the ship encounter another ship's light, he send the codes to order the "other ship to get put of his way. He was so angry to receive the answer that "the other ship" did not want to give way.... he was a captain, and the other ship must give him a way.  Later he found out that the other ship's light cannot change direction because it was out it was a lighthouse.
If he did not want to yield because of his ego, he would have ruined his ship.

Other terms you find in this book:
P=Product                     (the golden egg)
PC=Product Capability (the goose)
P and P/C balance principle= you have to take care of the goose to get the golden egg. Take care both of them.


Seven habits that make us effective:
1. Be proactive
is to act, not waiting to be acted upon, is the ability to choose your response. Even when you are under a bad situation, you can choose to be happy. When you choose to be happy, you will try to find ways to make the situation better and ask questions how to make the situation better, what we can do now. Do your best inside your circle of power and authority.
Illustration about: Victor Frankl, Joseph that was sold by his brothers, working with annoying boss.
Even when your boss is annoying, your hard work will be noticed by him and he will appreciate you in his heart.

2. Begin with the end in mind.
Begin with the end (the final result that you want to achieve) and take measures needed to go there.
Covey describes: all things created twice, first in the imagination, second in the reality. You have to have goal and describe in details the things and processes needed to be there.

Sometimes you don't create the first creation, other people or society did it for you, but you can change it and make it personal.

Do not forget that to achieve your goal, you have to be in a good balance.
Do not sacrifice one aspect of life to pursue the other, because in the end you will regret your decision.

Every body has a center, something that is important to the person. There are 10 common center and one additional center.
Marriage partner
Family
Money
Work
Possession
Pleasure
Friend
Enemy
Self
Religion

Pursuing one center and sacrificing others can be devastating... Maintain a good balance. To be able to be in balance, here comes the last center that is CORRECT PRINCIPLE CENTER.

(Red: What are correct principles? We can learn about these in this link, https://www.jw.org/en/ in this site, we are taught to love our Creator and to love our neighbors...what is interesting about this site is that it is teaching you to be balanced in every thing you do)


3. First  things first
4. Win-win solution
5. First understand, then being understood.
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the saw